If you asked me what my life looks like right now, I don’t think I’d have one clear answer.
It’s not one thing.
It’s a mix of chaos and quiet, exhaustion and small wins, moments where I feel like I’ve got this—and moments where I very much do not.
Most days start the same way: too early (if I’m being honest). No slow starts: alarm goes and I hit snooze far too many times.
Weekdays crash into weekends and right now it’s all a blur: my to-do list is longer than some Hollywood Hills driveways; and for some reason, my body has decided it no longer wants to cooperate on this time zone.
Routines that once held my family together have evolved into figuring out how to co-parent and live separated under the safe roof. You’d think separated bedrooms and different schedules would be easy.
You’re be wrong. I was.
Getting my child ready.
Making sure everything is where it needs to be.
Keeping track of a hundred little things that used to fall only on me…and still does.
So much has changed…but the mental load remains the same. How is that fair? It isn’t. But that’s a topic for another day.
What has changed is that the house feels quieter in some ways, but my mind is louder than ever. My bedroom door is closed more now than it ever has been. Cooked dinners have become cooked lunches (more on that later). Communication has changed: it’s more texts and emails than verbal, face-to-face.
No more ‘Did you remember?’ or ‘Can you handle this?’
It’s all on me now. Though, that hasn’t changed too much either.
But there are small wins, too.
These are the type of wins I probably wouldn’t have noticed before.
Getting through the day and realising I handled everything…like a boss!!!
Figuring something out on my own that used to feel overwhelming…and really it felt overwhelming before because of how frustrating it was to ask and wait. Now I just do it myself and that frustration is no longer there.
Creating a new routine that actually works—for us.
Those moments matter more now.
Evenings feel different, too.
A little quieter.
A little more intentional.
A little more purpose-driven.
There’s something about knowing it’s going to be just us that makes me more present. Even on the tired days. Maybe especially on those days?
And through all of this, life right now is like me: a fruit salad with cherry tomatoes…
Messy.
Unpredictable.
A little chaotic.
There are still dishes in the sink.
Still things I forget.
Still moments where I’m winging it completely.
Actually, there are a lot of moments like that.
But I think that’s what this phase is: unpolished, still figuring out what works and what doesn’t. It’s neer going to be perfect. But I’m not looking for perfect. I’m looking for stability, honestly, love and everything that comes with that…As long as it’s us!
So yes, my life looks like this right now:
A little heavier.
A little clearer.
A lot different.
But also,
Still moving.
Still growing.
Still ours.
And for now, that’s enough.
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